You

You hide it all away because you don't want people knowing, you don't want people figuring you out. Because really you're shit underneath it. You're down and sad underneath it.

You sub consciously realize that people don't like you, you're not anything special, you're just another footstep on the beach. People don't see your positive sides. People see your negative streaks. You just want someone to listen, somebody to understand and be with you and know you mean well.

And everything seems so grey to you, like a black spiral going deeper and deeper. Because you realize that you aren't special and humans are just brainwaves and feelings and emotions. And you're just another one. But a shit one at that.
Why are you so upset all the time? Why are you not content with life or anything in it? Everything seems shit. Theres no one to go to when you most need it. And here you are. Sitting there crying. You're weak, lighten the fuck up.

And all they do is see bad, pick out the bad, no labels for the good. And all you do is analyze yourself and judge yourself for being the person that you are.

And you can't sleep at night, because everything seems dull and delusional. Why does every thing have to be done with so much effort and such little self esteem? You're not good at anything. You're meant to be gone. Theres no room for shit people on this world. You worry so much about what people are going to think, what people are thinking about you. A constant battle between your mind saying don't worry and do worry.

And theres only one person that knows you deep down but you don't want their help.