Self explanitory

Ben drew a little alien man on my hand :)
Heaphy drew a sun.. a really pretty one.
And ben did another 'doodle' and a wee smiley face, naww :)

Each person is hiding under their mask, and everybody's mask differs and changes at times. Be good to the mask, because if you treat the mask with respect, it may just open up for you to come inside and take a look.. But be cautious when you get inside, don't pull too hard or tear too much, just nibble lightly and take a look around. Make their soul entwine with yours and remind them that they are a beautiful human being and should be appreciated for who they are. Theres nothing more beautiful than a person being themselves, a person being content with the person they are and a person who is willing to share themselves with people that are eager to explore another persons soul.

I feel like I am trying to get the keys to everyones hearts and souls. I want to dig right in and take a good peek, fix it up a bit and come back out and have fun with that person. But I want someone I can rely on, I want someone I can love. I know it sounds kind of wimpy, kind of sappy, but really all I am is a 'melodramatic princess'. I really want people to see me for who I am. I'm scared of rejection and loneliness. I'm scared to admit who I really am in fear that people will see me differently. I can't pull myself to do everything I want to. I need to stop relying on people so much to make me happy, I can expect people to make me feel better, but I can't rely too heavily.

I feel bored with life and not content with anything. Every day is a new day, but every day seems the same, same old bullshit, same old arguing, same old anger and same old no self esteem. As I get older I will learn to appreciate myself and build up a persona which I can then use to be happy.

I know this sounds self centered but I really just want one person to delve into my soul and pull it right out of me, get all the negativity out of me and listen to my silly ranting and raving, but also just love me at the same time. I really want some closure, a new beginning.

The number 1 has been here so much lately.. Every time I check my phone it seems to be 11.11, 1 keeps centering my life. 1 is the seed. The catalyst for manifestation and growth, the beginning stage of a final product. I want to grow and experience and learn, but I know I can't do this all at once. I need to wait.. Gain patience Scarlett, grab hold of reality and run away with it, like nothing bad ever happened in the first place.

All I want is to be happy. Why can't I seem to get there?