Nude

Sometimes I wonder why we get so lonely and disappointed. All through out our lives we will only fully trust ourselves, be ourselves and use ourselves for any purpose in life. You can not live selfishly but you can live a life knowing that you co exist with these other beautiful creatures that share the same planet as you live on. Amongst these many people are ones that you will love, ones you will hate, ones you will not think twice about, ones that you spend your time on trying to figure out. No one can be figured out because people are complex, and there is no answer to life. I believe that there is only an answer deep down in us that we can say is OUR answer not LIFES.

One of the most important things I've learnt in life is to not over analyse this thing 'life', because you will never find out an answer, its just so mystical and massive and full of change and excitement that it is impossible to lay a finger on every small thing that makes it up. So just go with the flow and have a good time, try and make yourself as happy as you can be. Happiness is the key.

Sitting in bed all night alone some times gets depressing, sometimes I wish that a magical person would just come and be my spooning buddy, no hard feelings or sexual tension, just a spoon buddy. A big fluffy bear, would be fair.

Some times its hard to understand people, but do people understand me? The question is what is the question? And what is understanding anyway? I guess we all do what makes us feel good in life, but then you have to question what makes us all feel individually good as humans. I'd have to say compassion, love, friendship and laughter does the trick for me, I don't need countless sexual encounters to keep me happy, I'm not really looking for the physical aspect to life.

A lot of people are lonely, like me. And a lot of people hurt, grieve, cry and feel like me also. Thats where some of the problem of people lie. Everyone has feelings, and to be so selfish about feeling like crap is literally, crap.

I hope for enlightenment, I hope for creativity, motivation, happiness and contentment. I hope for laughter, love, passion and beauty. Beauty so intricate that we start to appreciate everything we find beautiful for simply just being. I'd like that. I wish for some one to fill my gap, to delve deep in to my gap and soothe it, love it, be it. I want someone who will solemnly sit there with me, write poetry, cuddle, draw and listen to beautiful music with me. Who gets my will to life, who understands me on the same wave length as me. Someone who is just as interested in human behavior as me but gets my way of thinking and feeling. I think that every heart has another heart listening, every ear has a place to be heard, and every whisper can be reached to somehow. Smiling is the loveliest thing you can do for someone in the split second moment of nothing ness whilst walking down the road to do what you need to do on that rainy, morbid, gray winter day.. While everyone else is trying to run away from the rain, embrace the fuck out of it.

Smile. We all need to smile. And we all sure as hell have something to smile about at the end of the day. Tread carefully through waters of thickness and morbidness, through waters of clearness and purity.. through anything you want to make it out to be. Beauty.