Only sometimes

Sometimes I just think people don't get me... I feel different to the people around me... I feel sour and bitter, I don't want to feel sour and bitter I just need to love. So fucking bored and feel stabbed and trapped. Kind of like a rat in a cage with nowhere to go.. like I'm stuck in this one position and I can't progress on and through, kind of like I'm stuck in time with nowhere to go and it doesn't matter anyway because every second is the same. I don't know, I think half of the time I just talk shit and act like the world is on my shoulders, when really its not, its myself on my own shoulders.

I am numb. I need something to connect to, someone to connect me to something, need to connect myself to this earth and the people around me. I stop myself from having fun because I worry too much about everything, my shit seems to keep fucking me over and stopping me from what I really want. I'm so fucking angry and frustrated, its bad. I feel like a bad person. I feel like no one will listen to me because they don't want to and I feel as if no one is interested in me and whats inside of me..

I just need to change myself and my outlook on life.. I don't know what to feel anymore, I need to fade away into a blur of air.

I need change.